I Lie in Facebook

It has been 4 years since we’ve seen each other in person but we never had a doubt that we will be friends for life.


So last week we were trying to catch up on the recent happenings, sharing what’s new and how things are going. Ranting how things have been changing and wondering how we are transforming to people we do not want to become 4 years ago.

And I said hey, but you seem to be having the time of your life. I’ve seen photos. They all look fun!

Then she said, “I lie in Facebook.”

Offfffffff…. Ahahahahahahaha.

Aren’t we all? Trying to have the best self-presentation of ourselves for the world to see.

So now on your birthday (Yes tatlim, you are 31. Can you believe it? I cried when the first number of my age changed to 3. It was traumatic. Ok. I am overacting. Ahahahahahaha.), I wish to see more of your lies in Facebook.

I wish to see you visiting new places. I wish to see you spending time with your families and friends. I wish to see you dipping in your pool with a hat and sunnies on and a glass of bira in your hand. I wish to see more of your PDAs (you should know the meaning of this by now!!!) with Tiago. I wish to see you saving more dogs from doom. I wish to see you stopping and smelling the flowers. And I wish you would have all the resources so you can continue all these lies you post in Facebook which entertains me and makes me feel that we are still one bus away and still part of each other’s lives.

Happy happy birthday tatlim. Mutlu yillar canim benim.

Turkey will never leave us because it is there where we learned like a pro how to lie in Facebook big time.

Seni seviyorum kizim. Haydi gorusuruz. Haydi opuyurum.

Now, go ahead and stop taking photos.


Eat your manti


and afiyet olsun!



I Am Not An Extrovert

He said he’d be here by 8:30 PM. I was ready.

He was late.

I just have to say that so I won’t forget.

He opened his car door for me.

I settled in. He started driving.

We talked about my recent blog post. On why people use Facebook. On why people behave like that in Facebook. On why we, ourselves, personally use Facebook.

Then he asked, “So when are you flying?”

“Tuesday”, I said. “I am actually deliberately not thinking about it.”

In the coffee shop…

Me: I know this won’t be the first time I’d do this, but still, I can’t help but feel sad. Could it be because of the possibility that I won’t be home for Christmas? Or the idea that I really don’t know when I will be home after this? *Sigh*  I think I am having this fear of letting go of the normal.

A: Fear of letting go of the normal? That sounds nice.

Me: I’m scared of the kind of life I will have there.  Will I have friends? Like real friends? Somebody I can talk to about stuff. Like this?

A: Did you ever have a problem making friends? I won’t believe you if you say yes. You are such an extrovert. You don’t have problems creating conversation. Why the hell are you so scared then?

Me: I don’t know. It’s just that life there seems so different. People there could be different. And for the record I am not an extrovert. I can be an initiator but I am not an extrovert.

And on and on we went until I was appeased that this move would be just like the others.

More than the fear of having a culture shock, of experiencing homesickness, of adjusting to a new life, the idea of not having that one person who can totally understand me freaks me out the most.

But I will hang on to his faith that it won’t be that bad.

It will not be that bad.

Then we fell into a comfortable silence. It’s 12:30 in the morning.

A: Let’s go?

Me: Ok.

It was a 15 to 20-minute drive.

He parked outside our house. We hugged. We won’t be seeing each other anytime soon.

I went down the car and started to walk.

He rolled the window.

He forgot to give me something.

A gift from India.

Thank you and I’ll see you soon.

Three Chapters After

Life is so funny. It has this uncanny ability of sending you THAT right person at THAT right time.

I haven’t talked to this friend for a long time. As in a really long time. But I had this feeling last night that he will show up soon in one way or another because my birthday is around the corner and it is against his religion to miss sending his good wishes on my big day.

He messaged me in FB this morning asking where I am. I said home. Then my mobile started ringing.

The conversation was the typical how have you been and how’s everything going. If there’s one thing about this friend though, he has a memory of an elephant. Or maybe he just chooses to remember. He was asking me how things went with my last story and I was like, “What?! Did I tell you that?! Oh my gad! I am such a blabbermouth!” And he can really embarrassingly detail the things I said.  Wow. I truly respect his brain. 🙂

Anyway, I just told him that was so yesterday. I am now THREE CHAPTERS AFTER.

We have to hang up quickly early this morning because he was driving but a few hours ago this evening, my phone started ringing. It was him. Again.

I have barely finished saying my hello when he straightforwardly said, “Let’s hear the story of the Three Chapters After”.

Ha!!! This guy never forgets!

And if there is one person who should hear the story of the “Three Chapters After” that would be him. Haha. I am just smiling as I type this. This friend is just amazing.

He patiently listened with his occasional brash remarks here and there but never stopped me until I am done with my last sentence.

And I felt better. That’s it. I just felt better.

He was the perfect person for the job. He was made for it.

After the what-where-you-thinking, bringing me back to earth, and some in depth analysis of the whole situation, it was time for the final words.

Sometimes bliss happens but it doesn’t mean it’s forever.

There will be more things to come.

There will be signs.

Take it easy and relax.

What my meditation mantras cannot do to me, this friend was able to stack neatly in my brain.

I can just shake my head now and smile. How come I have friends like him?

I am just so blessed.

Thank you. 🙂

My Sister’s Story

Today is my sister’s first day back at work. After staying at home for almost three months after her spinal fusion surgery, today is her day back to her old world.

I kind of miss her in the house so I checked out her FB page to see how things are going just in case she posted some updates like she misses her bed or she wants to watch Showtime and other stuff she got so used to doing at home.

And then I saw this link to her blog. A knot was forming in my chest as I was reading through it.


This is a story of faith, relationships and bravery.

I learned a lot.

Thanks to September

This would be my last week at home where there will be a semblance of “normalcy”. How can September pass by just like that? I am getting anxious, scared and excited all at the same time for the coming weeks.

One month of being home, catching up with family and friends and just living the life I was so used to for years, was a very nice reminder of God’s blessings and graces in my life. It will also be a source of strength and power for me later on if the going gets tough.

To say that I maximized my September to bits is an understatement because really, days are not enough to spend quality time with all the wonderful people in my life.

Thanks to September because I got to enjoy our house again and be with my parents. It is true what they say that we are too busy growing up that we don’t seem to realize that our parents are growing old too. This September, I was able to appreciate more my parents and what they did to raise us as wonderful citizens of the world. When we were young, we always thought our parents are immortal. That they have superpowers and can do anything and everything for us. But as we grow old, we also realize that parents are humans who have needs, personalities and their own lives. And those make them even more lovely. I might not be able to really show the love and appreciation that I have for them the way they want me to, but life means them.

Thanks to September because I was able to spend a month with my sister while she is recovering from her operation. I could say this is the longest that we have endured each other’s company and surprise, we enjoyed it to bits. We got to know further each other’s quirks and idiosyncrasies and lived with it, and we had the best laugh in our lives for years. It was just pure sisterly love and I am grateful for it.

Thanks to September I was able to be with my brother and sister-in-law and saw how they can be steady anchors that I can depend on always. They are my beautiful posts. My brother’s crazy antics which I abhor when I was young never fail to make me laugh. It is really in growing up when you see in hindsight how all these childhood years of fighting and putting up with each other can be wonderful memories to cherish and look back to. And my sister-in-law’s strength and courage will always be inspirations in my own battles in life.

Thanks to September I realized that my nephews are growing up. I know they will always be kids to me but the wonder and amazement I feel everytime they come over and show new developments of blossoming personalities never fail to tickle my soul. I love them to pieces and I wish them a very good and exciting life ahead.

Thanks to September I was able to spend time with friends who are part of the wonderful stories of my years. My sister-in-law said one time that she is amazed how I was able to keep so many friends through these years. It was an aha moment for me. I’ve never consciously examined how amazing my friendships have developed all through these years. And when I did, I was enveloped with love and happiness. I have’t been really home for years now. I am more like passing through once in a while because of the life choices I have made. And it warms my heart that despite space and time, true friends are true friends. They will always be there no matter what. They are never lost and will never be lost. They are hand-picked gems that will stay with me because they are special. I am so happy they chose me to play a part in their lives. And I know that it might take months or years again for us to be physically together but the bond we shared will never be broken. It has been imprinted in our souls. It can never be erased.

Thanks to September for showing my heart what it is capable of doing. That it can love honestly and deeply and can feel pain and sorrow in the same magnitude. Sometimes people come in our lives unannounced and we open the doors of our hearts little by little until they are fully in. We would have wanted to entertain them longer and maybe bolt and lock them in but that would be going against the rules of life. One thing I learned is that doors should always be left open. We owe it to ourselves to keep it open; sometimes to let people in, sometimes so they can freely go out, or sometimes to show them out the door. Thanks to September for this wonderful opportunity to see another side of myself which is beautiful.

And lastly, thanks to September for reaffirming the beauty of my soul.I have forgotten it the past few months and have allowed moss to creep up and cover who I really am, a beautiful soul crafted in the image and likeness of God. Thanks to September for reminding me again that life on earth is fleeting and that this is not where I really belong. To always seek to be mindful of my thoughts and to always give positive thoughts to myself and to others should be my joy. Now, it is with me again.

Thank you September. Your 30 days won’t be forgotten.